How to Help a Friend

Whether you know it or not, some of the people in your life may be facing violence at home—a friend, a coworker, or even a family member. For many reasons, it’s hard for victims to acknowledge they are being abused—especially when the abuser is supposed to be a loved one.

There are lots of ways you can tell if something is wrong—unexplained injuries or explanations that don’t quite make sense. Canceling plans at the last minute or fear of making their partner angry when they do something on their own.

If your friend, relative, or neighbor is being abused, you can be an important lifeline.

Ways You Can Help

• Let them know you care. Ask direct questions gently and give them time to talk. If they don’t open up, ask again a few days later. Avoid rushing into providing solutions.
• Listen without judging. Your friend may already believe their abuser’s negative messages. Victims often feel ashamed, inadequate, and afraid of judgment.
• Reassure them: Tell them “It’s not your fault!” There is never an excuse for physical violence in a relationship—not alcohol, drugs, financial pressure, depression, jealousy … nothing.
• Continue to check in. If your friend remains in the relationship, express concern without pushing. It often takes victims several attempts to leave an abusive situation.
• Tell them help is available. Encourage them to call The Family Place Hotline at 214-941-1991 or, if they live outside the area, the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE. On the other end of the line is a caring person with answers and support.
• Encourage them to make a safety plan. They should have important documents ready, such as birth certificates, passports, health insurance records, Social Security cards, immunization records, and financial documents.
• Suggest documenting the abuse. Keeping medical records of injuries and talking to healthcare professionals can help build a case for protection.
• Remind them that domestic violence is a crime. Victims can seek protection by calling 911 and requesting a protective order through the police and courts.

You can make a difference. Let them know they are not alone.